When you need to cry your tears.. home is where the Kleenex is.
December 20th 2006 18:45
Last night, Tony and I got into a HA-YUGE fight. Door slamming contests and everything. Hard to believe we used to fight like this... like um... once a week. Anyway, we haven't had a fight like this in months and months. At the very least not since I've started taking anti-depressants. Those things just take the usual annoyances and coat them in oil so that they roll off of me without so much as a blip on my rage screen.
Last night though, last night I had it up to HERE God Damn it! Yes, I said up to HERE and I am actually doing the karate chop to the forehead as we speak. A person can only take so much shit for so long.
For the last month or two, Tony has been working a lot. A LOT. I know this isn't his fault, and therefore I have kept my mouth shut about it. I let him do his thing, and am there for him as much as I can. When he works more, so do I here at the homefront. Homework, baths, laundry, with the added bonsus of Tae Kwon Do classes, on top of not having any time to get stuff done sans kids, so those things are done with a manic two year old on my hands. Even taking the big kid to school some mornings. I don't mind, as I know it's all about the yin and yang of life, the ebb and flow, if you would like me to wax poetic for you. Tony has kept me at bay with "I'll be going on leave for FOURTEEN days, we just need to get through this." He's been dangling the prize in front of me for weeks now. Building me up into a frenzy.
After promising me he'd take Aislinn to TKD, then not showing up, mixed in with other dastardly deeds of the last few days, (Like scheduling a golf date for the very first day of leave)and then telling me he has to GO TO WORK TOMORROW (while on leave), left me with, how shall I put it? The taste of BITTER pissed offed-ness in my mouth. I was furious. Not only that, but the jack ass never fucking apologized for not showing up for TKD.
So, we fought, and argued and yelled, and traumatized our children pretty darn good I'm sure. To get away from the reek of self rightousness that was coming off of Tony, that apparantly comes with having a dick, I grabbed my jacket to go buy a nice pen to write out our Christmas cards. The Christmas cards that I took the pics for, had a friend make special for me, ordered, and waited for the Fed Ex guy to deliver. None of which he was involved in. Jerk.
Anyhoo, before going there, I found my van turning down the streets to get to my moms house. Pulling up, the tears started to pool in my eyes. Walking to the door, it was hard to see. Walking IN the door, they threatened to spill. One look at my sister Correen, and her boyfriend Jordan (oh yeah, they're back together, I wrote about the break up and how it affected me here), the tears started to drip, ever so slowly.
I just sat there and cried. They didn't know what to say of course, but they allowed me to say what I needed to. That's what really matters in a situation like this doesn't it? Correen in true sister form, made the right responses at the right times. Even at the tender age of 18, she knows that men can be totally ass clowns, and not care about anything but themselves.
Then I made it downstairs, and even though it was his only night off, my dad allowed me to cry, even though there were basketball games to watch, and even agreed with me. (Fuck man, just thinking about it is making me teary again) That was the best part of all. Knowing that my dad, who usually has the mans back in almost every situation, agreed with ME. That let me know, hey I am not being an insane and irrational crazy woman.
I cried a lot last night. So much I developed a headache. I stayed awhile, and left in relative good cheer. I went to WalGreens to get my pens, and I felt like I could get over this whole mess no problem. I was all smiles and happiness.
I get in the van and drive home, ready to go in and give my husband a big hug, and maybe get a little pre-Christmas action going on. I pull onto our street and see he forgot to take in the dumpsters.
Fucker.
Last night though, last night I had it up to HERE God Damn it! Yes, I said up to HERE and I am actually doing the karate chop to the forehead as we speak. A person can only take so much shit for so long.
For the last month or two, Tony has been working a lot. A LOT. I know this isn't his fault, and therefore I have kept my mouth shut about it. I let him do his thing, and am there for him as much as I can. When he works more, so do I here at the homefront. Homework, baths, laundry, with the added bonsus of Tae Kwon Do classes, on top of not having any time to get stuff done sans kids, so those things are done with a manic two year old on my hands. Even taking the big kid to school some mornings. I don't mind, as I know it's all about the yin and yang of life, the ebb and flow, if you would like me to wax poetic for you. Tony has kept me at bay with "I'll be going on leave for FOURTEEN days, we just need to get through this." He's been dangling the prize in front of me for weeks now. Building me up into a frenzy.
After promising me he'd take Aislinn to TKD, then not showing up, mixed in with other dastardly deeds of the last few days, (Like scheduling a golf date for the very first day of leave)and then telling me he has to GO TO WORK TOMORROW (while on leave), left me with, how shall I put it? The taste of BITTER pissed offed-ness in my mouth. I was furious. Not only that, but the jack ass never fucking apologized for not showing up for TKD.
So, we fought, and argued and yelled, and traumatized our children pretty darn good I'm sure. To get away from the reek of self rightousness that was coming off of Tony, that apparantly comes with having a dick, I grabbed my jacket to go buy a nice pen to write out our Christmas cards. The Christmas cards that I took the pics for, had a friend make special for me, ordered, and waited for the Fed Ex guy to deliver. None of which he was involved in. Jerk.
Anyhoo, before going there, I found my van turning down the streets to get to my moms house. Pulling up, the tears started to pool in my eyes. Walking to the door, it was hard to see. Walking IN the door, they threatened to spill. One look at my sister Correen, and her boyfriend Jordan (oh yeah, they're back together, I wrote about the break up and how it affected me here), the tears started to drip, ever so slowly.
I just sat there and cried. They didn't know what to say of course, but they allowed me to say what I needed to. That's what really matters in a situation like this doesn't it? Correen in true sister form, made the right responses at the right times. Even at the tender age of 18, she knows that men can be totally ass clowns, and not care about anything but themselves.
Then I made it downstairs, and even though it was his only night off, my dad allowed me to cry, even though there were basketball games to watch, and even agreed with me. (Fuck man, just thinking about it is making me teary again) That was the best part of all. Knowing that my dad, who usually has the mans back in almost every situation, agreed with ME. That let me know, hey I am not being an insane and irrational crazy woman.
I cried a lot last night. So much I developed a headache. I stayed awhile, and left in relative good cheer. I went to WalGreens to get my pens, and I felt like I could get over this whole mess no problem. I was all smiles and happiness.
I get in the van and drive home, ready to go in and give my husband a big hug, and maybe get a little pre-Christmas action going on. I pull onto our street and see he forgot to take in the dumpsters.
Fucker.
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Al Brunswick
Romance Writers
Comment by Ahmed
techy.Bytes
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Qwerk
Cinema Three
Comment by Sandi
Comment by Ahmed
techy.Bytes
Video Gamer Kids
Little Green Foosballs
PolyKicks
Qwerk
Cinema Three
Comment by Sandi
There was a lot of other things I didn't mention as I didn't want to get into the minute details of the argument. Had he not dumped on my by not showing up, then not apologizing THEN gettng mad at me for being mad he had to work during his leave period, then he could have gone and golfed to his hearts content. I even later on said "Please I want you to golf" when he realized I was right, and that it was to close to Xmas to be fucking around.
Anyway it rained today so it didnt even matter.