Want to know the definition of parenting for me? Good intentions.
October 19th 2006 22:41
That's right. Good fucking intentions. From the moment you pee on that stick and get those two lines and you swore you'd lay off the caffeine (and by caffeine, I mean crack) , to the present moment when you SWORE you'd take the kids to the park, and there you sit, in your pj's, blogging about your intention to take them to the park.
Yet, don't feel down. It's not your fault, you hear me? Do NOT beat yourself up. I mean, yeah ok, your laziness plays a role, and your selfishness too. Yet, they play surprisingly small roles. First of all, SOCIETY expects too much from the present day mom. If I have to see one more trim mom mopping up a spilled juice cup wearing a toile skirt and beads on tv, I'm going to vomit on the remote. I'll vomit on the remote, and then just put a towel over it, cuz that how I roll bitches. It won't even be a tea towel or anything fancy, but the stained towel that Tony brought home from the ship that belonged to his friend Mitch Earhardt. And FYI... I do get a little skeeved out when I dry off my crotch with the towel and see his name stencilled on the towel. It seems all to personal.
Anyway, but the other part of this equation, a big part is your bad ass kids. If your children just COOPERATED then, life would be so much easier. Who wants to take a kid to the park, who is just going to cry about having to wear clothes to the park? Who wants to bake cookies for a kid who CAN'T STOP PICKING HER NOSE. Actually the nose picking is fine, becuase come on, we all do that, but its the eating it that is just really, really gross.
Today, my daughter had the day off from school, and she has tomorrow off as well. I had all these magnificent plans. I thoughtfully planned everything out, and yet we probably won't do any of it because I'm already tired of whining.
"WHY do I have to wear socks to Mimi's house?"
"WHY can't we go to the dollar store NOW!"
"WHY can't we go to the korean store NOW"
"WHY can't we bake cookies?"
And all of those in the most obnoxious tone. That's just a small portion of my day thus far. I'm ready to tear my hair out.
Yet, don't feel down. It's not your fault, you hear me? Do NOT beat yourself up. I mean, yeah ok, your laziness plays a role, and your selfishness too. Yet, they play surprisingly small roles. First of all, SOCIETY expects too much from the present day mom. If I have to see one more trim mom mopping up a spilled juice cup wearing a toile skirt and beads on tv, I'm going to vomit on the remote. I'll vomit on the remote, and then just put a towel over it, cuz that how I roll bitches. It won't even be a tea towel or anything fancy, but the stained towel that Tony brought home from the ship that belonged to his friend Mitch Earhardt. And FYI... I do get a little skeeved out when I dry off my crotch with the towel and see his name stencilled on the towel. It seems all to personal.
Anyway, but the other part of this equation, a big part is your bad ass kids. If your children just COOPERATED then, life would be so much easier. Who wants to take a kid to the park, who is just going to cry about having to wear clothes to the park? Who wants to bake cookies for a kid who CAN'T STOP PICKING HER NOSE. Actually the nose picking is fine, becuase come on, we all do that, but its the eating it that is just really, really gross.
Today, my daughter had the day off from school, and she has tomorrow off as well. I had all these magnificent plans. I thoughtfully planned everything out, and yet we probably won't do any of it because I'm already tired of whining.
"WHY do I have to wear socks to Mimi's house?"
"WHY can't we go to the dollar store NOW!"
"WHY can't we go to the korean store NOW"
"WHY can't we bake cookies?"
And all of those in the most obnoxious tone. That's just a small portion of my day thus far. I'm ready to tear my hair out.
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Life with kids is all about managing expectations... unfortunately, media is setting the expectations too high...