Trying my hand at poetry.
February 25th 2007 20:51
Again? and
Again? and
Yet again?
You flatter me
With your stiff
wanting, your
hard
rock hard
gift.
Again?
Yes, oh yes again.
yet again?
Um...? ok again.
When you leave me
Only thoughts
of you are in my
mind and heart
Ok not true.
I also think
with all
seriousness...
Can I?
How would I?
Can it be done.....
?
Can I count your
vigorous
lovely gift(s)......
as points of
activity
on Weight Watchers?
I crack myself up. I have never study poetry so I'm sure this is the wrong on so many technical levels. But, David gave me an idea, and I ran with it.
Again? and
Yet again?
You flatter me
With your stiff
wanting, your
hard
rock hard
gift.
Again?
Yes, oh yes again.
yet again?
Um...? ok again.
When you leave me
Only thoughts
of you are in my
mind and heart
Ok not true.
I also think
with all
seriousness...
Can I?
How would I?
Can it be done.....
?
Can I count your
vigorous
lovely gift(s)......
as points of
activity
on Weight Watchers?
I crack myself up. I have never study poetry so I'm sure this is the wrong on so many technical levels. But, David gave me an idea, and I ran with it.
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Summer Banks
Romance Writers
Comment by David
You don't just crack youself up ... (and I love that expression by the way ... (and the people who use it sincerely ...
Whatever you do, don't study poetry or learn any of the technical stuff ... because ... what you have written is ...
This?:
You flatter me
With your stiff
wanting
I wish more poets understood the value of line-breaks ... and the beauty of free verse ... (I'd love to drag them out of the mire of rhyming doggerel ... but as the Scripture says, 'The dog(gerl) always returns to her own vomit'? ... ***
The first poet in the world didn't have a poetry teacher ... Some of us need to learn the technical stuff ... (a bit like rules, I guess. We need to learn them so we can unlearn them? ... Or how to break them, and create something original / unique / inspirational? ...
I'm a great advocate of people who can't write learning the technical stuff ... but for those who already can write? I'd avise against it ... their style is too unique ...
And I love your style ... Please don't go all technical on us ... Please ...
That is a purler of a poem ... Still lauhging here (and appreciating the writing style and ability at the same time ... Your poor husband ... * Um, your lucky husband? ...
My poetry teacher told me a poem should be meaty and memorable ... (and so should women ... [nothing like a bit of flesh on a woman's bones ... to remember her by ...
Oh, a nice title for this one? ... Wait Watchers ... *
David ...
Comment by Anonymous
-t.c.