Seven Months and counting
March 14th 2007 14:52
March marks the seventh month I have been on anti depressants. I know that they have been nothing short of a God send. Today though, I got the full scope of how much they've affected me.
Today, at my Weight Watchers meeting (I lost three lbs woohoo!) they had a list of negative emotions on the board and then their positve counterparts. The meeting coordinator was asking what we could do instead of eat to change the negative emotions into positive. As I looked at the negatives list Sad, depressed, lonely, frustration, trapped, bored etc I got to thinking about how I don't feel a lot of those anymore. Not that I don't feel those things on occasion, but it's not an overwhelming feeling like it was before. I can finally say that I am in a "normal" frame of mind, and it's been wonderful.
Even before I joined WW I had pretty much stopped my emotional eating. I just needed help with portion control and exercise. Even though I'm pretty sure I could do the weight loss without the help of WW, I still like going. If nothing else to remind me of the long road I have traveled to get here.
With each passing season, it's like I'm experiencing them for the first time. So far, autumn, winter and now spring have felt new to me, and I am feeling their individual bliss. I am no longer the screaming meanie that my kids avoided. I am happy, I am blessed, and I don't ever want to go back.
Recently, a friend of mine said she found out that anti depressants may cause a slow down in weight loss. That upset me, but I decided right then and there, if I had to chose fat and happy, or skinny and crazy, I'll take fat and happy anyday. I am doing things I never dreamed of doing before, last night I stayed up late, writing a story, and just going all out. I'm pleased with the way it is turning out, and that is something I would have never done before. I used to whine and complain about not having a "Thing" a talent, and I have found it. I may not be great at it, but with each blog entry, with each short story I write, I am finding it, honing it, getting better at it. One day, I will have a published piece, be it in a magazine or a book, who knows. Nothing seems impossible to me. Things that would before cause me to curl up in a ball and lock myself away from teh world no longer phase me. Van needs 1400 dollars in work? Do it. We have to pay someone 450 bucks becuase Tony rear ended them.... take care of it. I used to think that money was the root of all evil. Even though I think that is true to an extent, I have learned that more of it or lack of it will not make me or break me. Life is so much more than what I have or dont have or what bills need to be paid.
Now as I sit outside watching my son play, hearing the birds chirp, watching Lucky the puppy next door running around, and drinking my coffee, I see what others have seen for so long, and what I refused to see. Not becuase I didnt want to, but because I couldn't.
Today, at my Weight Watchers meeting (I lost three lbs woohoo!) they had a list of negative emotions on the board and then their positve counterparts. The meeting coordinator was asking what we could do instead of eat to change the negative emotions into positive. As I looked at the negatives list Sad, depressed, lonely, frustration, trapped, bored etc I got to thinking about how I don't feel a lot of those anymore. Not that I don't feel those things on occasion, but it's not an overwhelming feeling like it was before. I can finally say that I am in a "normal" frame of mind, and it's been wonderful.
Even before I joined WW I had pretty much stopped my emotional eating. I just needed help with portion control and exercise. Even though I'm pretty sure I could do the weight loss without the help of WW, I still like going. If nothing else to remind me of the long road I have traveled to get here.
With each passing season, it's like I'm experiencing them for the first time. So far, autumn, winter and now spring have felt new to me, and I am feeling their individual bliss. I am no longer the screaming meanie that my kids avoided. I am happy, I am blessed, and I don't ever want to go back.
Recently, a friend of mine said she found out that anti depressants may cause a slow down in weight loss. That upset me, but I decided right then and there, if I had to chose fat and happy, or skinny and crazy, I'll take fat and happy anyday. I am doing things I never dreamed of doing before, last night I stayed up late, writing a story, and just going all out. I'm pleased with the way it is turning out, and that is something I would have never done before. I used to whine and complain about not having a "Thing" a talent, and I have found it. I may not be great at it, but with each blog entry, with each short story I write, I am finding it, honing it, getting better at it. One day, I will have a published piece, be it in a magazine or a book, who knows. Nothing seems impossible to me. Things that would before cause me to curl up in a ball and lock myself away from teh world no longer phase me. Van needs 1400 dollars in work? Do it. We have to pay someone 450 bucks becuase Tony rear ended them.... take care of it. I used to think that money was the root of all evil. Even though I think that is true to an extent, I have learned that more of it or lack of it will not make me or break me. Life is so much more than what I have or dont have or what bills need to be paid.
Now as I sit outside watching my son play, hearing the birds chirp, watching Lucky the puppy next door running around, and drinking my coffee, I see what others have seen for so long, and what I refused to see. Not becuase I didnt want to, but because I couldn't.
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