Have you ever thought maybe you are the problem not the answer
December 18th 2007 10:36
Everyone encounters times when a loved one, friend or relative desperately wants to solve your dilema, they would bend over backwards, make the world turn the opposite way just to be able to help you in an hour of need.
You can't thank these people enough for their generosity, their unilateral display of unconditional love is heart warming. Its so wonderfully reassuring to know that society still has these soft moments to surprise us, a happy moment indeed.
However how often have these very people been the source of the problem, no matter how hard they try, no matter how much they want to make your troubles disappear, it simply is an impossible task because they are the problem themselves and they cant see it.
An example might be easier, I am not sorry to bring sex into this as it is a favourite subject and one that raises many of these situations !
Simon is a happily married handsome young man with a small family, he has aspirations at work, he leads a healthy social life and his wife is wonderful. She is beautiful, caring a great mother and loves him dearly.
When they first met they hard an active sex life, they were naughty in places their parents might not have thought of. They weren't outragious as some but still they felt they tried most things. Romance occured occassionally but not as a given, he was too young when they met to fully understand how and by the time he'd worked it out she was too old to be bothered with such trivia.
Having collected a few tools in the romance department, confidence in his ability and his own looks he now found himself without a patient to explore this wild new and exciting world. No matter how hard he tried to ellicit some form of romantic response from his wife, she just didn't connect. She tried hard to maintain a regular sex life but it wasn't the same as making love.
He wanted to seduce a willing participant, make her senses sing and her body dance, he just wanted to make love with someone else.
So in a situation like this the wife is incapible of solving the problem, she can not be another person for Simon to seduce !
You can't thank these people enough for their generosity, their unilateral display of unconditional love is heart warming. Its so wonderfully reassuring to know that society still has these soft moments to surprise us, a happy moment indeed.
However how often have these very people been the source of the problem, no matter how hard they try, no matter how much they want to make your troubles disappear, it simply is an impossible task because they are the problem themselves and they cant see it.
An example might be easier, I am not sorry to bring sex into this as it is a favourite subject and one that raises many of these situations !
Simon is a happily married handsome young man with a small family, he has aspirations at work, he leads a healthy social life and his wife is wonderful. She is beautiful, caring a great mother and loves him dearly.
When they first met they hard an active sex life, they were naughty in places their parents might not have thought of. They weren't outragious as some but still they felt they tried most things. Romance occured occassionally but not as a given, he was too young when they met to fully understand how and by the time he'd worked it out she was too old to be bothered with such trivia.
Having collected a few tools in the romance department, confidence in his ability and his own looks he now found himself without a patient to explore this wild new and exciting world. No matter how hard he tried to ellicit some form of romantic response from his wife, she just didn't connect. She tried hard to maintain a regular sex life but it wasn't the same as making love.
He wanted to seduce a willing participant, make her senses sing and her body dance, he just wanted to make love with someone else.
So in a situation like this the wife is incapible of solving the problem, she can not be another person for Simon to seduce !
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Summer Banks
Romance Writers
