Pms. It's for real.
February 23rd 2007 05:38
Ah yes, it's that special time of the month, where my face is affixed with a permanent scowl, I can cry during an episode of Wonder Pets, and the sound of my husbands voice makes me want to repeatedly punch him in the neck.
PMS. Ain't it grand?
I know a lot of men think that PMS is a bunch of crap. Hell, I know some women who think, or at one time thought that. They think PMS is an excuse to be bitchy. It really isn't though. Trust us, as we're shooting you the evil eye and snapping at you when we so much as see the whites of your eyes, we're telling ourselves to STOP IT! We can't though. That's the terrible part. We just can't. It's like asking a man to not scratch his balls.
So many things are going on with a woman when she is about to ride the cotton canoe. Senses change. I can smell a dirty butt from a mile away. Anything and everything offends my nose. Our skin changes. Big red eruptions on our faces, our backs, or whatever. Our hunger changes, needing to constantly eat, and eat and eat. Often switching from salty to sweet to both at the same time. Our moods change, even the most loving of mama earth muffins can lose her patience at a child during that special time. We cramp, we bloat, we ache, we can't sleep, we can't get enough sleep. Sometimes our brains even become addled, we forget where we set our keys, which of course is enough to send us into a tizzy of tears if we're running behind. We're probably runny behind because we couldn't find anything to wear that fit.
Men will never understand, but I don't blame them for that. Just like I can't understand what it is to be a man. I would imagine we do resemble a freaked out she dragon on crack.
PMS. Ain't it grand?
I know a lot of men think that PMS is a bunch of crap. Hell, I know some women who think, or at one time thought that. They think PMS is an excuse to be bitchy. It really isn't though. Trust us, as we're shooting you the evil eye and snapping at you when we so much as see the whites of your eyes, we're telling ourselves to STOP IT! We can't though. That's the terrible part. We just can't. It's like asking a man to not scratch his balls.
So many things are going on with a woman when she is about to ride the cotton canoe. Senses change. I can smell a dirty butt from a mile away. Anything and everything offends my nose. Our skin changes. Big red eruptions on our faces, our backs, or whatever. Our hunger changes, needing to constantly eat, and eat and eat. Often switching from salty to sweet to both at the same time. Our moods change, even the most loving of mama earth muffins can lose her patience at a child during that special time. We cramp, we bloat, we ache, we can't sleep, we can't get enough sleep. Sometimes our brains even become addled, we forget where we set our keys, which of course is enough to send us into a tizzy of tears if we're running behind. We're probably runny behind because we couldn't find anything to wear that fit.
Men will never understand, but I don't blame them for that. Just like I can't understand what it is to be a man. I would imagine we do resemble a freaked out she dragon on crack.
| 101 |
| Vote |
Subscribe to this blog
Summer Banks
Romance Writers
Comment by Wendi
On the plus side, I had a hysterectomy so I no longer have full blown cycles. On the negative side, it was only a partial hysterectomy. As my ex-husband would say, the playground is always open. However, because I still have ovaries, I still qualify for pms and hormonal insanity.
Until recently, there was no way to track or record when the beast would arise, it was an unexpected explosion of tears and fury. Now, my daughter is old enough to have her very own pms, and god(dess) help me, we seem extremely tied together. She cried during homeschool yesterday for no apparent reason, so I blew up at her (which I rarely do), then I developed a zit, then we both cried, then binged. *LOL*
Amen for midol!
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
I actually tell my husband when the signs are alerting me that I'm close to parting the Red Sea...he's always relieved to have the warning and treads carefully (as he should, he's a man and it's his fault I have the symptons).
I loved your scenario with your daughter, Wendi where you cried, a zit grew and then you binged...so true...
What is it with the appetite around that time just before the onslaught? I could eat a three-course meal for every meal of the day....but then when the Red Line is actually with me, I can barely eat...
Poor us....
PS Loved the description, cotton canoe...I always thought of them as surfboards, but canoe is much more apt...
Comment by Wendi
I'd introduced the idea of a regular cycle to her by calling it "her friend". I didn't want her to have a negative perception of the whole thing before it even started, and it was a discrete way for us to discuss it in mixed company (family, of course) without making it uncomfortable. For a year and a half I'd say, "When is your friend coming to visit?"... but then one day, in the Jeep, on the way to my son's karate class, I slipped up and said, "Hey, when's your period supposed to start?"
My son (15 and older than his sister), did a cough/laugh combination and said, "Oh, nice, mom... toss out the whole "friend" bit and cut right to the chase why don't ya?"
I'd never heard the canoe or surf board terms.
I remember in seventh grade, in school, the girl sitting behind me tapped me on the shoulder. When I turned around she said, "Hey, my aunt margaret just came to town."
I had absolutely no idea what she meant!
Comment by MelissaA
Fun Facts
Isn't it funny though how something can be coming out of your mouth and you can be thinking "stop it, you shouldn't say that like that" at almost exactly the same time, but it's so compulsive it's unavoidable.
Ahhhh, aren't hormones fun, ladies! ; )
Comment by Sandi
Wendi... LOVE the description of you and your daughter. They say women synch themselves. It's an unfortunate thing at the time, but I guess men would go crazy if it was one after another. LOL My dad had a wife and THREE daughters. The man was knee deep in hormones!! On parenting message boards, the period is called "aunt flo" and sometimes she can be proceeded with by her dog "Spot" isn't that disgusting?
Tracy... I jsut can't stop eating at that time. It's constant. I am doing weight watchers, and I'm just watching the food go in my mouth, and that's about it. LOL
Melissa, I can be ranting and raving out of my mouth and in my head at myself. It's terrible. Compulsive is a good word for it.
Thanks for dropping by and commiserating with me ladies!
Comment by Wendi
Comment by Anonymous
"While we're on the subject, is anyone besides me disgusted at some of the advertising campaigns for feminine products"
Totally.. I don't bleed blue.
-T.C.
Comment by Sandi
Comment by MelissaA
Fun Facts