Pathetic Woman or Good Wife?
January 6th 2007 19:02
I sometimes wonder if I'm to attatched to my husband. This all came about when I got a phone call from my sister. She was telling me about what she assumed was a girls night out she was planning on attending last night. She found out that one of the girls there was bringing her boyfriend, and this perplexed my sister. I saw where she was coming from, as she thought it was a girls night out, and agreed with her that it would be awkward etc. (Hi Michelle!! 
)
After hanging up, I continued my grocery shopping and got to thinking about some of the things she said. I wondered if I was like that girl. It's not that I can't live without Tony, Lord knows I've done plenty of that, being a military wife and all, but if given the preference I like to be with him.
I just kind of brushed it off at that point. I mean, if I was invited to go out with a bunch of girls, I definitly would not ask Tony to go. One becuase he'd need to stay home and watch the kids, and two well, it would be more fun without him there usually. I would feel obligated to cater to him (which is what my sister was getting at) and make sure that he was feeling comfortable and all that crap. Although, if the situation were reversed, and I was hanging out with a bunch of dudes with Tony, he would be to busy playing video games and drinking beer to see if I was bored or not.
Feeling good about my womanly independence, I went about my day.
Later that evening, I was talking to Tony about seeing if some of my girlfriends would to go and see Stomp! in February. He asked me what Stomp! was and I told him. He kinda implied HE'D like to go, and I immediatly stopped and said "Oh well WE can go, I don't have to go with them" I immediatly sold out my sisters in vaginahood to go with him. This has bothered me all night. I probably wouldn't have thought twice about it, had I not gotten that call from my sister earlier, but I did, and well I was thinking and now I'm a bit unnerved,
Yet, it gets worse. Today, I'm checking out Amazon.com and I see that my favorite perfume is offereing free shipping today. I've been dying for their body wash, but at $22 a pop, I've always been leery. I go to order it and stop myself, with this thought "Do I really want to spend that much money on something Tony doesn't even like?"
Yikes.
Again, it wouldn't have been an issue had I not gotten that CALL. Tha call had nothing to do with me. The call didn't even really have anything to do with the whole guy/girl dynamic. Yet, here I am freaking myself out over this shit.
I realize that I live a lot of my life trying to please and be pleasing to my husband. Yet, I don't think it's in a "Oh wonderful penis wielder, I'll do as you command" kind of way, or a "It's God's will to be subserviant to the man" kind of way. I don't think it's any type of pathetic way. I think it comes from love.
I love my husband, even if he pisses me off a lot. I love him even when he doesn't take out the trash or is grumpy when he comes home from work. I want to make him happy. So, I wear the perfume he likes on occasion, and I cook him the foods he likes when I can, and I wear the lingerie he prefers even if it goes up my ass, and makes me feel like a whale. Why? Becuase I like when he smells me and says "Oooh you smell so good" and Ilike when I cook him his favorite foods, and he says "Oh Babe that was excellent, I'm so stuffed" and I like when I wear his favorite lingerie, and he attacks me. It would be a different story I guess if I did all those things without so much of a response from him, but I always get a postive response from him, and therefore it makes me want to do more for him.
I will have to tell him though that Stomp! is for the girls, and I may have to go and order that body wash. He'll get over it. Why? Becuse he wants to make me happy too. That's what love is all about.
) After hanging up, I continued my grocery shopping and got to thinking about some of the things she said. I wondered if I was like that girl. It's not that I can't live without Tony, Lord knows I've done plenty of that, being a military wife and all, but if given the preference I like to be with him.
I just kind of brushed it off at that point. I mean, if I was invited to go out with a bunch of girls, I definitly would not ask Tony to go. One becuase he'd need to stay home and watch the kids, and two well, it would be more fun without him there usually. I would feel obligated to cater to him (which is what my sister was getting at) and make sure that he was feeling comfortable and all that crap. Although, if the situation were reversed, and I was hanging out with a bunch of dudes with Tony, he would be to busy playing video games and drinking beer to see if I was bored or not.
Feeling good about my womanly independence, I went about my day.
Later that evening, I was talking to Tony about seeing if some of my girlfriends would to go and see Stomp! in February. He asked me what Stomp! was and I told him. He kinda implied HE'D like to go, and I immediatly stopped and said "Oh well WE can go, I don't have to go with them" I immediatly sold out my sisters in vaginahood to go with him. This has bothered me all night. I probably wouldn't have thought twice about it, had I not gotten that call from my sister earlier, but I did, and well I was thinking and now I'm a bit unnerved,
Yet, it gets worse. Today, I'm checking out Amazon.com and I see that my favorite perfume is offereing free shipping today. I've been dying for their body wash, but at $22 a pop, I've always been leery. I go to order it and stop myself, with this thought "Do I really want to spend that much money on something Tony doesn't even like?"
Yikes.
Again, it wouldn't have been an issue had I not gotten that CALL. Tha call had nothing to do with me. The call didn't even really have anything to do with the whole guy/girl dynamic. Yet, here I am freaking myself out over this shit.
I realize that I live a lot of my life trying to please and be pleasing to my husband. Yet, I don't think it's in a "Oh wonderful penis wielder, I'll do as you command" kind of way, or a "It's God's will to be subserviant to the man" kind of way. I don't think it's any type of pathetic way. I think it comes from love.
I love my husband, even if he pisses me off a lot. I love him even when he doesn't take out the trash or is grumpy when he comes home from work. I want to make him happy. So, I wear the perfume he likes on occasion, and I cook him the foods he likes when I can, and I wear the lingerie he prefers even if it goes up my ass, and makes me feel like a whale. Why? Becuase I like when he smells me and says "Oooh you smell so good" and Ilike when I cook him his favorite foods, and he says "Oh Babe that was excellent, I'm so stuffed" and I like when I wear his favorite lingerie, and he attacks me. It would be a different story I guess if I did all those things without so much of a response from him, but I always get a postive response from him, and therefore it makes me want to do more for him.
I will have to tell him though that Stomp! is for the girls, and I may have to go and order that body wash. He'll get over it. Why? Becuse he wants to make me happy too. That's what love is all about.
| 125 |
| Vote |
Subscribe to this blog
Summer Banks
Romance Writers
Comment by Lily
Ars Poetica
Comment by Joe Blogg
Joe Blogg's Blog
manchesterunited
collingwoodfootballclub
You obviously love Tony.
Many people don't have that although they think they do.
Comment by Tracy
Movies and Life
I know what you mean and I actually found myself thinking about similar things yesterday. My husband works long hours and I mean ridiculously long hrs so sometimes I find myself questioning what lengths I have to go to spend time with him.
For example I planned to have lunch with friends yesterday, then I spoke to my husband the day before and it seemed like that was the only time on the weekend we would spend together. So it was a bit of a quandary...I didn't want to be the woman that waits until he has time to spend together, I can't make my plans around his all the time. It's not that I'm not independent etc, but rather it was about making a choice, if that was the only time I was going to see him on the weekend, then I wanted to be with him...of course...
Anyhoo, he had to go to work and I sat in a cafe with friends for a few hours. Not quite what I was hoping to happen....
Hmmmmmm.....
Comment by Ash
Australian Traveller
Flashes of memories
Comment by DuskDevi
Rugby World Cup 2007
Ohhhh...way too funny Woman!
God Sandi...they way you write...
My husband has to be away Mon-Fri so at the moment, my weekends are off limits to my friends!
Lucky they understand what a love sick sad sack I am when it comes to my husband (we've only been married 10 years).
He is quite simply, for me, to me, the most wonderful human alive.
I'm in love with me, I am in like and in lust and in laughter with him. That's why I am married to him...he is the person that I would rather spend my time with.
And at the moment our time together is far too fleeting.
Far too precious to be spent apart.
Being with him is what makes me happiest.
If that makes me pathetic...so be it.
....so why am I here instead of being with him?
Sheesh.
Hypocrisy.
I'm outta here...
DuskDevi
Comment by Bhumika
Political Minds
Comment by AnthonyB
I hope you buy that body wash, and I do believe movies are more fun with your brothers, homies or sisters in your case. It's a different kind of fun, and very suddenly, it becomes all too rare when you have a relationship.
Fantastic work, my friend !
- Anthony
Comment by Anonymous
it seems to me that people get very caught up in making sure than they aren't TOO beholden to their husbands. With God, it's not about obediance. You actually become as ONE when you marry. I always find it amusing how people are willing to be beholdened to their friends, beholdened to their bosses, their bridge club, socce league driving pool, overly concerned mother, rbut not to the man you swore to love honor and cherish, forsaking ALL others, cleaving ONLY unto him until death do you part.In no way shape or form do you owe the fidelity of your vagina to anyone but your husband, anyone who tells you otherwise simply wants you beholdened to them. It doesn't mean you don't want or have the right to friends. It simply means in a good marriage, your preference for your husband is natural. Thank God for the gift of your GOOD marriage.
In Christ,
cm. Oursler.
Comment by Anonymous
we have the guy for you!
Comment by Anonymous
quick get him before someone else does!
Comment by Anonymous
by Mike rhodes
San Francisco Ca. (DPI) Nessie, 35, recently joined online dating service Lavalife, placing an ad with the headline "Seeking Gorgeous, Hard-Bodied Female" although Nessie himself is an overweight, unappealing man.
"I'm looking for the finest things in life, and that extends to my love of women," reads the ad posted late Friday by Nessie, who weighs 290 pounds and works as an assistant manager at Hero's Realm, a local comic-book retailer. "If you have love handles, a paunch or a gut, I'm probably not the guy for you. Appearance means a great deal to me. If you don't have a healthy, attractive appearance, including FASHION SENSE, then how can I ask you to take care of me?"
Nessie posted the ad from his bachelor apartment while wearing a stained Green Lantern T-Shirt and track pants.
"Hey, can you blame me for wanting the best?" Nessie said while cleaning his ears with a pen from behind the Hero's Realm cash register. "The world is full of mediocre-looking women. Why shouldn't I want the best for myself? After all, it's not like I don't have a lot to offer."
Other than his $6.50-an-hour job, Nessie can also look forward to chauffeuring his new love around town in a 1986 Ford Escort that he dubs the Love Machine although he has never indulged in sexual activity in it with a partner.
Elsewhere in the ad, Nessie wrote, "I take care of myself, and I expect nothing different from my soul mate," although he has a bottle of medicated cream prescribed for a noticeable skin condition that he seems to use solely for masturbatory purposes.
Nessie expressed the most pride in the final line of his ad, which he said took him "hours" to compose: "Please, I can't stress this enough -- no fatties." He told the Probe that this embodies his philosophy perfectly. "Fat chicks are a real turnoff to me," he said through a mouthful of Mars bar. "You have to draw the line somewhere. Besides, I like the waif look."
"I figure it's only a matter of time before the right girl sees my ad," Nessie told coworkers.
respond to sf@indymedia.org.
Comment by Anonymous
This is a forgery, one of many. For some idea how often nessie's name gets forged, Google "nessie indymedia forgery" and see what comes up:
Really Long Link
This particular forgery is also spam:
Really Long Link
Comment by the Real Nessie
is indeed , this nessie imposter follows me around to bask in the after glow of my personality
don't fall for fakes girls, you Can have the real thing!
the Love Machine is ready to roll
respond to sf@indymedia.org.
When I was a teen I used to have asian guys, hispanic guys, and black guy after me....so I'm guessing they werent sitting around JUST desiring the hot white boys and i'm still trying to cope with it
Comment by Ness
I have had seventeen Hits, and three takers.
I have a hottie lined up for friday night.
this place rocks!
the nessman is on a roll, so common ladies
you better step lively or you may miss out
TTFN - Ness