I want to be able to fart and announce it!
January 23rd 2007 19:53
Probably the most annoying thing about being a mom is that nothing you have is sacred. NOTHING. From your coffee, to your shoes, to your fucking vibrator. Nothing has escaped the touch of tiny, sticky fingers.
Oh to live the life of a child, be able to unencumbered with such things as manners, and thougtfulness. To live your life doing whatever pleases you, spinning around until you vomit, or drinking your mothers ONE precious yogurt fruit smoothie. The one thing that is low in Weight Watcher points, and doesn't taste like ass. Or to drink the special coffee she treated herself with. When you asked her for a drink, and then drank half of it, chugging it down your greedy lttle throat like a wino with a bottle of White Lightning.
Kids can in one day, drink your stuff, sneeze on your food, pick their nose and wipe it on YOUR shirt, poop in thier pants, throw themselves down and pound the floor becuase you had the NERVE the NERVE to tell them no ice cream before dinner. Yet we still tuck them in at night and kiss their evil little foreheads, and swear to protect them always. I think it would be like being part of the Manson Family.
We are controlled by their whims and their follies. They say jump, we say how high. They cry out, we responde. If an adult acted like this, if an adult just snatched your yogurt smoothie and drank it, getting some mysterious floating objects in it, you'd punch that adult in the neck. But, children with their big doe eyes, and their soft, plump skin, and their intoxicating smell... they get away with that shit... every.... single... time.
Oh to live the life of a child, be able to unencumbered with such things as manners, and thougtfulness. To live your life doing whatever pleases you, spinning around until you vomit, or drinking your mothers ONE precious yogurt fruit smoothie. The one thing that is low in Weight Watcher points, and doesn't taste like ass. Or to drink the special coffee she treated herself with. When you asked her for a drink, and then drank half of it, chugging it down your greedy lttle throat like a wino with a bottle of White Lightning.
Kids can in one day, drink your stuff, sneeze on your food, pick their nose and wipe it on YOUR shirt, poop in thier pants, throw themselves down and pound the floor becuase you had the NERVE the NERVE to tell them no ice cream before dinner. Yet we still tuck them in at night and kiss their evil little foreheads, and swear to protect them always. I think it would be like being part of the Manson Family.
We are controlled by their whims and their follies. They say jump, we say how high. They cry out, we responde. If an adult acted like this, if an adult just snatched your yogurt smoothie and drank it, getting some mysterious floating objects in it, you'd punch that adult in the neck. But, children with their big doe eyes, and their soft, plump skin, and their intoxicating smell... they get away with that shit... every.... single... time.
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thought i would share this