How to make decorative lawn deer... the way nature intended.
November 27th 2006 15:49
You think decorative lawn deer are man made? Yes, they are usually, but if left alone, they can breed on their own. Here is the story of Doey and Buck.....
This is the first sighting. Buck notices the long, lovely legs, her strong back, and....
he can't help notice that her hind quarters are quite luscious. He struts his stuff, and beckons her over. "Hey baby, what's your name?" "Doey" she giggles.
They play a few reindeer games, and then they snuggle in close, feeding off of each others warmth. Pheremones are a-flying folks. Pretty soon, the little lady starts feeling that special feeling. Buck senses it, and leans in for a kiss. His antlers aren't the only thing that are standing up, if you know what I mean.
The couple go back to Buck's bedding area in the woods. They drink some more, they snuggle, do some kissing and then next thing you know.....
OH!! That ain't right!
The next morning, Doey leaves the Buck's house in the same bow she had on yesterday. She does the walk of shame back to her place, bow askew, avoiding eye contact of her neighbors. She looks at herself in the mirror and thinks "You're such a whore!" She takes two Ambien and sleeps away her pain for the rest of the weekend.
Fast forward a few months later. Doey has "let herself go" she's sluggish and fat. She hasn't heard from thBuck in WEEKS. Rumor has it, he's taken up with a few other ladies here and there, ruttin' it up and spreading his seed all over town.
One day, while grazing with her family, the doe falls down on the ground panting. All of a sudden she screams in pain and to her horror THIS happens!
Then... Oh my God! Not again!!
Twins!! Oh my God, she was pregant?!? Her mom starts crying, and her dad rants and raves about having to take care of "bastard twins" when he was due for retirement soon. He yells "Thanks for ruining my life!!"
The doe, although shocked, falls instantly in love with her two beautiful fawns. When they start to nurse, she vows that she can make it on her own, Buck be damned.
Her father eventually calms down, and they settle into some sort of life. Her mom watches the fawns while Doe works as an animal prop at the Santa Display. If it weren't for her parents, she would be destitute. She hears about Buck here and there, but has grown stronger, and no longer fawns for him (excuse the pun). One day, while she's trying not to take a dump on the set, she looks over and who does she see? Buck, standing there with a bouquet of flowers, and two toy pine cones for the kids. He says "Oh Doey I am SO sorry. I just recently heard about our babies, and came over here right away. I know I was foolish, but I was just doing what nature intended. It's always been YOU I wanted. Take me back please. I want to be a father to our fawns."
Doey and Buck take it slow. They start a real courtship, and as time passes, Doey eventually introduces Buck to the fawns, Fawna and Darryl. Much to her delight, Buck falls instantly in love with his children. They eventually move into a cramped cave together, but Doey doesn't care. They're together, in love, and she has kicked her Ambien addiciton.
Life is good!!
The End.
A male, wicker buck, spots a beautiful female.
This is the first sighting. Buck notices the long, lovely legs, her strong back, and....
Check out that ba dunk a dunk
he can't help notice that her hind quarters are quite luscious. He struts his stuff, and beckons her over. "Hey baby, what's your name?" "Doey" she giggles.
A few sips at the pond later, she can't keep her hooves off of him.
They play a few reindeer games, and then they snuggle in close, feeding off of each others warmth. Pheremones are a-flying folks. Pretty soon, the little lady starts feeling that special feeling. Buck senses it, and leans in for a kiss. His antlers aren't the only thing that are standing up, if you know what I mean.
The first kiss. Listen carefully, you may hear strains of "Endless Love"
The couple go back to Buck's bedding area in the woods. They drink some more, they snuggle, do some kissing and then next thing you know.....
*Bomp chicka bomp bomp*
OH!! That ain't right!
Who's your daddy? Say my name!
The next morning, Doey leaves the Buck's house in the same bow she had on yesterday. She does the walk of shame back to her place, bow askew, avoiding eye contact of her neighbors. She looks at herself in the mirror and thinks "You're such a whore!" She takes two Ambien and sleeps away her pain for the rest of the weekend.
Fast forward a few months later. Doey has "let herself go" she's sluggish and fat. She hasn't heard from thBuck in WEEKS. Rumor has it, he's taken up with a few other ladies here and there, ruttin' it up and spreading his seed all over town.
One day, while grazing with her family, the doe falls down on the ground panting. All of a sudden she screams in pain and to her horror THIS happens!
Can you imagine if they really WERE born with antlers? Youch!
Then... Oh my God! Not again!!
Didn't know the bows were formed in the womb didja?
Twins!! Oh my God, she was pregant?!? Her mom starts crying, and her dad rants and raves about having to take care of "bastard twins" when he was due for retirement soon. He yells "Thanks for ruining my life!!"
The doe, although shocked, falls instantly in love with her two beautiful fawns. When they start to nurse, she vows that she can make it on her own, Buck be damned.
Her father eventually calms down, and they settle into some sort of life. Her mom watches the fawns while Doe works as an animal prop at the Santa Display. If it weren't for her parents, she would be destitute. She hears about Buck here and there, but has grown stronger, and no longer fawns for him (excuse the pun). One day, while she's trying not to take a dump on the set, she looks over and who does she see? Buck, standing there with a bouquet of flowers, and two toy pine cones for the kids. He says "Oh Doey I am SO sorry. I just recently heard about our babies, and came over here right away. I know I was foolish, but I was just doing what nature intended. It's always been YOU I wanted. Take me back please. I want to be a father to our fawns."
Doey and Buck take it slow. They start a real courtship, and as time passes, Doey eventually introduces Buck to the fawns, Fawna and Darryl. Much to her delight, Buck falls instantly in love with his children. They eventually move into a cramped cave together, but Doey doesn't care. They're together, in love, and she has kicked her Ambien addiciton.
The End.
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