Do you want me to turn this car around?
October 16th 2006 22:08
Here I sit, stuffing my face full of peanut butter M&M's, and sighing heavily over and over. If you were here, it would sound like *Siiigggghhh... munch, munch, munch SIIIIGGGGGHHH"
What has gotten me so down? So morose? So forlorn? I said something to my daughter today, that was so horrible, so frightening, so shocking, I sit here an hour later, sighing and munching, oh and blogging. The thing is, what I said to her wasn't horrible, frightening, or shocking to HER so much, but more so for me, as I couldn't believe I alllowed the sentence to be spewed out of my mouth. I can barely discuss it without wanting to hoark all over my keyboard. I need more M&M's for support. Maybe it's the M&M's that's giving me the hoarky feeling?
What did I say?
I said THE sentence.
We all have at least ONE phrase we'd SWORE we'd NEVER say to our kids, one that our parents used on us. Usually, there are a few phrases that you slowly tick off the "forbidden" list when you say them, becuase at the time, it's the only sentence that makes sense. There really IS an instance when "Because I said so" comes in handy.
Today, I picked up Aislinn from school, and we headed to Target to get wipes and lightbulbs. As we're driving there, she asks for an umbrella. This is something she has been asking for awhile, so I said "We'll see" which leaves it open ended to peruse price. She does know that "We'll see" can go either way with me.
A few seconds later, she starts whining about the sucker she got at Target last time, and how it was HORRIBLE that her brother BIT a chunk of it out. This is Aislinn's standard M.O. when we go to the store. Get me to kind of agree to one thing, and then she lays it on thick for ALL the things she wants. With the sucker she went with the "Life's unfair, Jonny ate my sucker, therefore, as my mother, you should pull more money out of your ass, and buy me another" route. I told her flatly she was NOT getting another sucker. We're riding along and we pass her favorite resteraunt, and she asks if we can eat there. I get a little loud, and said No, that money didn't grown on trees (another phrase I swore I'd never use) and becuase she couldn't be content with just the umbrella, she wasn't going to get anything at all today. This is just the beginning of a surprisingly long rant on my part.
After I'm finished with my rant, she asked for something else. I think I blacked out at that moment out of sheer awe of her moxie, and that's why I can't remember WHAT it was she asked for.
When I woke it was like my father had invaded my body and said the words I swore I'd NEVER, EVER, in a MILLION YEARS say..........
"THAT'S IT!! FROM NOW ON, IF YOU ASK ME FOR ANYTHING YOU WILL NOT GET IT!"
Of course, I can literally hear the wheels and gears turning in Aislinn's head. This sentence doesn't make sense to a childs mind. Hell, it never made sense to me until I had children. You think as a kid "But, how will you know when I want something?" This was a conundrum that my sister and I tried to figure out for many, many years. We thought the reason we didn't get little trinkets was because of this bizarre rule my dad had. How will you know if we don't ask? It doesn't make sense.
As a parent, I TOTALLY get it. Your child obviously doesn't grasp the concept of "There is only enough money for necessities in our account" That was obvious to me when Aislinn told me I could charge a horse to my credit card the other day. Not a stuffed pony, a REAL HORSE. Basically, you get tired of being the bad guy. You get tired of saying no, sorry honey we can't get you a coloring book/DVD/Ipod/horse. You just want it to STOP, so that you can stop feeling like an ass who can't give your child whatever they want. As much as we the parents know giving your kids everything is not good, there is still a part of us that wants to do it for them, even if it's to the detriment of their psyche. All you have to do is turn on MTV and watch Sweet Sixteen to see how easy it is to give your kids everything, if you can afford to do it. In the end, all parents are the same, we want our kids to be happy.
So, I said it. I'm getting over it now. But, it was a shock to me when it fell out of my mouth.
In the end though, it worked out. Aislinn didn't ask for a THING in Target. I figure she didn't ask because she saw that I was serious, or she was so distracted trying to figure out how that works. Either way, it was nice and quiet!
What has gotten me so down? So morose? So forlorn? I said something to my daughter today, that was so horrible, so frightening, so shocking, I sit here an hour later, sighing and munching, oh and blogging. The thing is, what I said to her wasn't horrible, frightening, or shocking to HER so much, but more so for me, as I couldn't believe I alllowed the sentence to be spewed out of my mouth. I can barely discuss it without wanting to hoark all over my keyboard. I need more M&M's for support. Maybe it's the M&M's that's giving me the hoarky feeling?
What did I say?
I said THE sentence.
We all have at least ONE phrase we'd SWORE we'd NEVER say to our kids, one that our parents used on us. Usually, there are a few phrases that you slowly tick off the "forbidden" list when you say them, becuase at the time, it's the only sentence that makes sense. There really IS an instance when "Because I said so" comes in handy.
Today, I picked up Aislinn from school, and we headed to Target to get wipes and lightbulbs. As we're driving there, she asks for an umbrella. This is something she has been asking for awhile, so I said "We'll see" which leaves it open ended to peruse price. She does know that "We'll see" can go either way with me.
A few seconds later, she starts whining about the sucker she got at Target last time, and how it was HORRIBLE that her brother BIT a chunk of it out. This is Aislinn's standard M.O. when we go to the store. Get me to kind of agree to one thing, and then she lays it on thick for ALL the things she wants. With the sucker she went with the "Life's unfair, Jonny ate my sucker, therefore, as my mother, you should pull more money out of your ass, and buy me another" route. I told her flatly she was NOT getting another sucker. We're riding along and we pass her favorite resteraunt, and she asks if we can eat there. I get a little loud, and said No, that money didn't grown on trees (another phrase I swore I'd never use) and becuase she couldn't be content with just the umbrella, she wasn't going to get anything at all today. This is just the beginning of a surprisingly long rant on my part.
After I'm finished with my rant, she asked for something else. I think I blacked out at that moment out of sheer awe of her moxie, and that's why I can't remember WHAT it was she asked for.
When I woke it was like my father had invaded my body and said the words I swore I'd NEVER, EVER, in a MILLION YEARS say..........
"THAT'S IT!! FROM NOW ON, IF YOU ASK ME FOR ANYTHING YOU WILL NOT GET IT!"
Of course, I can literally hear the wheels and gears turning in Aislinn's head. This sentence doesn't make sense to a childs mind. Hell, it never made sense to me until I had children. You think as a kid "But, how will you know when I want something?" This was a conundrum that my sister and I tried to figure out for many, many years. We thought the reason we didn't get little trinkets was because of this bizarre rule my dad had. How will you know if we don't ask? It doesn't make sense.
As a parent, I TOTALLY get it. Your child obviously doesn't grasp the concept of "There is only enough money for necessities in our account" That was obvious to me when Aislinn told me I could charge a horse to my credit card the other day. Not a stuffed pony, a REAL HORSE. Basically, you get tired of being the bad guy. You get tired of saying no, sorry honey we can't get you a coloring book/DVD/Ipod/horse. You just want it to STOP, so that you can stop feeling like an ass who can't give your child whatever they want. As much as we the parents know giving your kids everything is not good, there is still a part of us that wants to do it for them, even if it's to the detriment of their psyche. All you have to do is turn on MTV and watch Sweet Sixteen to see how easy it is to give your kids everything, if you can afford to do it. In the end, all parents are the same, we want our kids to be happy.
So, I said it. I'm getting over it now. But, it was a shock to me when it fell out of my mouth.
In the end though, it worked out. Aislinn didn't ask for a THING in Target. I figure she didn't ask because she saw that I was serious, or she was so distracted trying to figure out how that works. Either way, it was nice and quiet!
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Summer Banks
Romance Writers
