Busy week.
January 22nd 2007 21:02
Even though my living room looks like Thomas the Train barfed up the Island of Sodor on my floor, here I sit. I sit chatting with Teri, who reminded me that I had a blog, I know, I know I do, but Tony has been really really nice lately, so you know, I don't have anything to write about.
I'm just sitting here. I decided to just sit here and relax. It seems like life has given me a lot to deal with this last week. From chapped lips, new diet, diabetes, potty training and an oncoming birthday party, life as been hectic. The funny thing, the chapped lips has taken up most of my time. Between me and Tony we'v bought six tubes of chapstick in the last week.
I started Weight Watchers since my Dr. told me that I needed to lose weight. Not just a few lbs, but according to him, sixty or seventy pounds. You know I don't care HOW much you think you look good, you're self esteem takes a kick in the gonads when someone tells you to lose sixty or seventy pounds. So, all I've seen when I look in the mirror is a big old lard ass that needs to lose the equivalent of a small child.
I joined Weight Watchers that very same day. I am excited about it, and I think that my mind is in the right place right now to go there and get teh weight off.
When I was younger, I was smoking hot. I know that sounds extremely arrogant. Trust me when I say I did not see myself as smoking hot then. I am saying this as a person who feels bad for wasting all those smoking hot years feeling bad about myself, which is what allowed me to get fat in the place. When I was a healthy weight, and looking smoking hot, I didn't feel it. It hasn't been until the last few years that I have FELT smoking hot, even though I have added weight.
A part of me doesn't want to lose my weight. I am happy with myself for the most part. The things I would like to change are more minor. I would like to get my teeth fixed for example.(hmmm I am making myself sound like an ogre aren't I? FAt with bad teeth) A part of me does long to be skinny, because that is the acceptable look. All of me knows that it's not about what I WANT at this point, it's what I HAVE to do to stay healthy.
I'm just sitting here. I decided to just sit here and relax. It seems like life has given me a lot to deal with this last week. From chapped lips, new diet, diabetes, potty training and an oncoming birthday party, life as been hectic. The funny thing, the chapped lips has taken up most of my time. Between me and Tony we'v bought six tubes of chapstick in the last week.
I started Weight Watchers since my Dr. told me that I needed to lose weight. Not just a few lbs, but according to him, sixty or seventy pounds. You know I don't care HOW much you think you look good, you're self esteem takes a kick in the gonads when someone tells you to lose sixty or seventy pounds. So, all I've seen when I look in the mirror is a big old lard ass that needs to lose the equivalent of a small child.
I joined Weight Watchers that very same day. I am excited about it, and I think that my mind is in the right place right now to go there and get teh weight off.
When I was younger, I was smoking hot. I know that sounds extremely arrogant. Trust me when I say I did not see myself as smoking hot then. I am saying this as a person who feels bad for wasting all those smoking hot years feeling bad about myself, which is what allowed me to get fat in the place. When I was a healthy weight, and looking smoking hot, I didn't feel it. It hasn't been until the last few years that I have FELT smoking hot, even though I have added weight.
A part of me doesn't want to lose my weight. I am happy with myself for the most part. The things I would like to change are more minor. I would like to get my teeth fixed for example.(hmmm I am making myself sound like an ogre aren't I? FAt with bad teeth) A part of me does long to be skinny, because that is the acceptable look. All of me knows that it's not about what I WANT at this point, it's what I HAVE to do to stay healthy.
| 67 |
| Vote |
Subscribe to this blog
Al Brunswick
Romance Writers
Comment by Adele
Lost Fanatic
Day Break TV
Is there something inherent in being a young girl that we think we don't look good? I found some old pictures of myself from high school and I looked goooooood. I had no idea. I don't remember ever looking in the mirror and thinking I was anything more than average pretty.
But I'm like you now and I feel like I look a lot better than the rest of the world apparently thinks I look. (I might be able to make that sentence more convoluted, but probably not.)
Comment by Mrs M
Mum's Word
I had an epiphany moment like that and I thought to myself, 'my god, I have finally grown up'.
Good luck with it all.
Love & stuff
Mrs M