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Bad mommy.

April 13th 2007 17:00
I've been feeling the strain lately of being a mom. This is always something I am hesitant to speak about because I've had people tell me before that as single moms, they are offended that I "whine" about not having a "break" from the kids. Although, yes we are lucky to have what we have, and we should be thankful for our lots in life, I often wonder how would these single moms feel if someone told them to stop whining about life and be glad they have a job, or a car, or whatever. A lot of times these single moms make WAY more than we do as a two parent family. But, would I dare come to them and say "It really hurts me when you talk about how much money you make, and how you can afford to like put your kids in classes, and take them out all the time" No of course not. We all make choices, some good, some bad, and we all have to deal.


Anyway, sorry personal rant there.

Tony has been working a LOT. A LOT. Like before, I didn't think he could work anymore than he was, but man has this new guy proved me wrong. It used to be, the beginning of the month was the easier part of the month. The pressure was off, it wasn't untl the last two weeks of the month that things kicked into overdrive. This new guy though, whoa. Let's just say if Tony comes home at 8 pm... we're excited that he is home "early". If he actually GETS a Saturday off... it's cause for a celebration. A lot of the time, he sees the kids before work, and that;s about it. Add classes he's taking, and wow. Not much time for much else but sleeping.

This has been wearing on me. The kids constantly whine about wanting to see him. They don't want to go to bed because they want to see him. So, bedtime has gotten pushed back later and even later still. Cutting into my precious ME time. By the time the kids get settled in bed, and actually asleep and not calling "Mommy mommy mommy" every five minutes, that's when Tony walks through the door. By this time I'm so tired, I just grunt a hello, and we both go to our respective corners, lick our wounds from the day, and go to bed... as far away from each other as we can.


I have been toying wth the idea of letting my SIL take the kids, BOTH kids this weekend. Tony has to work tomorrow, and i would have a blissful day IN MY HOUSE alone. I can go to the gym without having to worry about scheduling daycare for them. I could walk around the mall, or I could just play sims and clean house all day. The possibilities are endless. Yet, I get that tang of mommy guilt. As mommy, I should be able to handle my children. Wanting to dump them off at the inlaws house should be teh furthest thing from my mind. I should want to you know play with them, and color and do fun crafty projects, not want to stick pencils in my ears so I don't have to hear them whining at me.
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8 Comments. [ Add A Comment ]

Comment by D. Armenta

April 13th 2007 21:26
Oh, you gotta love the types who have to top everything you say, don't you? They've always had it tougher than you, and are the first to jump down your throat screaming "Stop whining!"--just before they launch into their own whine about just how much worse their life is than yours. These people have a lot of issues. Ignore them.
Bitching occasionally is not whining. Everyone bitches occasionally. I'll bet even Mother Theresa bitched occasionally.
t's interesting to see the other side of the coin. As someone who decided long ago never to have kids, I'm constantly bombardedwith reasons why I should from every woman I know who has kids--funny thing is, I never ask. And none of them ever recount the flip side. : O
I don't think there's anything bad or wrong about needing a break from the kids..or the job, the house, the spouse, whatever. Have the in-laws take them for the day, and don't feel guilty about it. Hang up your cape for a day, Supermom!


Comment by Wendi

April 13th 2007 21:35
Everyone needs a break. Single parent family, two-parent family.... doesn't matter. The every day pressures wear on a soul and a time out for mom can be as necessary as a time out for the kids.

I can relate. I can't offer help or adivce... but I can certainly relate. In my book? You're justified.

Comment by Anonymous

April 13th 2007 21:45
Sandi, you have no reason to feel guilty but I know you will anyway. If you were around anyone 12 hours a day, I don't care who they are, you would need a break from that eventually. If that person is needy it amplifies the duration of the exposure in most cases. If you didn't need a break one might think you where not human and if you didn't feel mommy guilt for it you wouldn't be a good mom. Look at it this way, the time you spend feeling guilty for thinking about doing it is only prolonging the guilt so you might as well get it over with!

Jeney

Comment by Sandi

April 13th 2007 22:10
JENEY!!!! OMG!! How ARE you?!? I think about you and Spencer ALL the time!!!

Comment by Nickoftime's Sanity Corner

April 13th 2007 22:33
I don't have any kids of my own, but I think being a parent, ANY parent, single, married, man or woman NEEDS personal time out in order to maintain their sanity and patience! Good lord, do NOT feel guilty about wanting some "ME" time! When I used to babysit my sisters kids on a daily basis when I was younger, I couldn't wait to have some free time of my own...and I wasn't even their parent!! So no, do NOT let those so called "supermoms" get you down...because it seems that they must not actually be "parenting" at all..it's a tough ass job and my hat's off to you or any parent...Working with animals everyday is a very rewarding job, but even I need some down time from them when the walls start to close in..I can't even imagine having to take care of and raise kids!



Take care,


Nick

Comment by Anonymous

April 14th 2007 02:25
Hellooooo.. the kids WANT to go! You're doing something good for them... they're going to have a blast, you're going to take a siesta and everyone will be happier come Sunday evening.
I don't want to hear one more whine from you oh whiney one... do it!!!
-T.C.

Comment by Sandi

April 16th 2007 01:30
Thank you all for your kind responses.... I had a wonderful little break. I slept in, fooled around, visited without having to pack kids along. It was amazing!!!

When they came back today I realized how much I missed them, and we had a good time.

Comment by Anonymous

April 16th 2007 21:28
Sandi, we are well. You can reach me anytime at jeneyw@insight.rr.com

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