November 2007 - Furious Bits

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Furious Bits - November 2007

Chasing the war on sense

November 22nd 2007 07:40

Question One : If the chaser team had distributed a bogus flyer in Lindsay would that have been okay ?
During this Australian Federal Election campaign these wickedly cutting edge comedians have tempted the boundary fences, so with this latest liberal banana it crossed my mind would they have got away with it.

Question Two : When is it right to tell people you intend to retire ?
In Queensland and Victoria the premiers recently bailed out mid term without song or dance and installed a new face to run the place. Is this more palettable than telling the public that you intend to retire following an appropriate transition to a know face ?

If you work in the public service you must resign or retire before nominating to run as a candidate, is it appropriate to retire as soon as you decide to run or at the last minute possible ? (Personally I would hope that a candidate had more confidence in their career choice than 24 hours notice)

Question Three : If Matt Corby wins Australian Idol will he have enough experience of life to be able to truely take advance of this opportunity or will the pressure and spot light restrict his ability to explore his true self and undoubtable talent?

Question Four : If every child at high school is going to be given a laptop who is going to pay the electricity bill, who is going to protect them from the excesses of the facebook and myspace time thieves ?

Question Five : When will politicians realise the job is endless, you never can leave without unfinished business !

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Crisis who says it’s a crisis ?

November 15th 2007 10:12

Just as the word ‘wedding’ has an immediate upward influence on the price of all things white, passing a particular age barrier for men and women also has a significant unnatural side effect.

For women, the slightest medical problem initiates a ‘menopause alert’ regardless of the symptoms. For guys, trying a new slightly risky activity, making a rash spontaneous decision or sharing an admiring look with a young attractive female is seen as a confirmation of a mid-life crisis.

This is Steve’s Story

As a kid growing up I had the usual sexual experiences, first kiss around the end of primary school, first proper girlfriend into high school, first serious girlfriend towards end of high school and sex filtered into the mix thereafter.

Education in matters of the female form came from hands on experience, I must admit to taking an avid interest in the oral part of any examination as opposed to the theory side. All in all by the time I reached my 20s I had a fairly good understanding of how things worked, was regularly complimented on my abilities but not so much so that my reputation suffered from over exposure.

I got the travelling bug from my parents and from the land of my birth (England) I ventured across Europe, skirted the US with a promise to return and ended up in Australia where once biten by a beach spider one never chooses to leave. The women who has now shared the last 17 years of my life tripped me up mid-travels and together we have been blissfully happy working the marriage thing for all its worth.

The kids have transformed us into parents, work has blossomed and the fruits of success have given us a wonderful home both close to everything we enjoy and a superb collection of friends that never cease to provide that extra layer of happiness. We have our dramas but all in all life is pretty bloody good.

Sex to me is an essential fun activity, something that gives great pleasure and relief but also provides sensual and emotional stimulation. Touching, sharing and tenderly loving is as much part of sex as the more graphic and, for want of a better word, messy bits. I would not say that I choose my life partner on the basis of her sexual ability, there were and still are much more important elements to her as a person, she does not share the same level of interest in this activity.

Please forgive me for being less than direct in my exploration but I feel it is necessary in order to fully appreciate the gravity of this matter. I am not a person to sit back and allow problems to get out of control, if I see something is wrong I will raise it no matter how difficult the subject. I am objective and open and can readily understand someone else’s view point as well as my own.

A little while ago, well after the kids but before that dreaded female topic had been discussed, we both noticed sex had become a predictable process, we’d do the same thing with only minor modifications. Frequency suffered, we drifted from week to week and even month to month, my difficulty was the need for change and excitement.

Maybe I am different to most people, maybe I expect too much but I like to know the other person is enjoying themselves, the idea that I would be doing anything that they didn’t enjoy is not only distasteful but a major turn off. It was this concern that lead me to open the discussion about sex with my wife, it took a while to get her to feel comfortable enough but eventually we were able to outline our individual problems.

I took it upon myself to investigate the issues externally where I found the nail #1 in what might yet turn out to be a coffin. I found that as most women traveled through their thirties they reached a sexual peak and then their interest subsided. Whereas men generally maintain a consistent healthy interest all through life. If I was very interested at 20 then I would likely be very interest at 60 !

I searched for assistance in helping reinvigorate my wife’s interest. Ideas such as role playing, sexy clothing, body paints, edible clothing and more imaginative locations all seemed excellent ideas to try out with a young exciting and flexible nymph but when shared with the women that washed my undies, they just didn’t seem to get the same reaction.

We shared education books giving hints and techniques for both parties to try, the major point in most of these was to ‘show’ your partner what you would enjoy. Massages, toe sucking, oral examinations, soft and tender caressing, we tried many and had great fun but only ever once. We openly discussed the use of the other hole because it was there and in the book, we agreed to rules that included it in a subtle way, maintaining its allure without degrading the moment brutally.

In other words when the issue of sex or lack of it comes up I can safely say I have done everything in my power to openly discuss it, address the issues and try to move forward constructively. The first advice a therapist gives is to talk the issues through with the people concerned. I read with interest a blog Really Long Link which gave 10 truths of sex therapy ‘# 2 you can’t work out a sexual problem with an unwilling partner. Don’t even try’ - Nail # 2!

So where to next :
Do without sex for the good of marriage ?
Well for a start sex isn’t as important as marriage, many will use this argument to justify abstinence but in reality it is a stronger argument for the other side. If sex is a pastime then it should be treated as any other, if you enjoy rock climbing would you need to give up your marriage to continue to do it?

Discuss the idea of a concubine ?
Well I don’t know if the book I was given to read last Christmas (Snow Flower) was a hint but it outlined the social etiquettes of a traditional Chinese life. Concubines are a regular feature in this and many other cultures and are used pretty much as a method of extending the male sex life. If other cultures see it as normal can it be so wrong to entertain such a thought ?
But as with some characters in Snow flower, wouldn’t it only be natural for a wife to feel deserted, rejected because of a flaw, to be replaced by a younger nubile slip of a girl. Surely this could only be detrimental to all the other perfect attributes. I have seen the murderous glare in her eyes when someone steals her last chocolate, let alone her husband’s attention. Nail # 3

An illicit affair or a F/buddy ?
Well the concept sounds wonderful, everyone gets what they need without anyone knowing, no-one gets hurt and the smiles are maintained all year round. But where do you find these people, do they even exist and who would want an aging married father of two that just wants to have sex.
When you do find someone that fits the bill how often can you get out and be naughty, you can’t just go out every night and not raise suspicion, slipping off at lunchtime for a quickie requires a venue and if you want to enjoy a thoroughly deep and meaningful sexual encounter you need to spend time in the company of this person ! Nail #4

Pay for the privilege ?
Watching porn movies or paying for sex are different sports to having real sex, like horse racing and show jumping, both have riders on the back of horses dressed in appropriate uniforms but both are completely different activities. Sex to me is about a sensual and emotional expression through the physical, it can’t be bought, it must be freely given. Nail #5

Of course guys are driven by sex, that is how we are wired and that is how women want us. Like it or not they wouldn’t change this part of us. Isn’t a real man a red blooded male who is tough, rugged, enjoys manly sports like car racing, football and cricket.

The ideal one might also cook a pretty tasty 4 course meal, have romantic tendencies such as erratic flower deliveries or organising a weekend escape without kids as a total surprise.

Perfection might mean he did a bit of housework occasionally but was still a grub, involved himself 50:50 with the kids but never undermined the motherly role.

And after all that he might insist on pushing her to achieve everything she wanted, make her interests family priorities, her work desires his desires, her commitments to improve her mind, body and spirit made possible for as long as she wanted them. But all of this wouldn’t be overt, she wouldn’t feel totally spoilt, she wouldn’t feel totally made, she would have to work hard and fight too.

But then a guy that doesn’t chase his partner around the house, is not showing her that he is still attracted to her. Remember that thing in the education books – ‘Show what you would like’
A guy that doesn’t show he wants his partner is either over the frustration and prefers the quiet life than sex, could quite possibly be looking elsewhere or gay or perhaps is getting exactly the right amount.

So how long does a guy rattle around in this cage before he explodes and talks to someone ? A couple of years? He tells a complete stranger on the net that he needs more sex, particularly oral as that is one thing his wife doesn’t do. He explains that he prefers to give than receive and if he’s going to find a surrogate she would need to be young and exciting to warrant the risk.

She tells him simply it must be a mid-life crisis go home and get used to it !

Editorial note :
I realised shortly after posting this that November in Australia is a month where Male health and depression issues are promoted (Movember).

For every male reader that can relate to the seemingly endless door closing effect of natural aging that is explored here, please don't think you are alone. Every single male will experience some form of this process ! I would strongly advocate talking to someone, anyone be they male or female, related or strangers. Just don't ignore it as it won't go away !

For every female that questions what is wrong with their suddenly distracted red blooded male, don't underestimate the difficulty of this situation for a guy to deal with. Depression respects no physical or mental boundaries, there is help out there but equally as in the story above consider the immediate environmental surroundings.

In Australia check out http://www.beyondblue.org.au

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The Sands - Part 3

November 14th 2007 06:19

As summer venues go The Sandcastle is pretty special, supposedly only open when the heat is rising the bar serves everything a beach bum might expect, cold beer for the regulars, foreign wine by any measure and of course a full selection of cocktails to weaken the sturdiest of knees.

By far the best seller though was the free bottled water, a huge draw card for locals where the tapped variety was best viewed being poured into a bottomless glass - literally. Had this not been modern Cuba, where life had exceeded the limitations of money years before, management might need to review its policy of free entry before sunrise.

The dance floor was huge but never far from the DJ, the ancient speakers designed for a previous decade of style still translated a transcendental beat well enough. The ambience was serenity itself, how could it be anything less perched on the shore of a crystal blue lagoon with a perfect sunset guaranteed every night.

People got lost every night, somewhere between the compressed sand floor and the angry blue polka dot sky. Not altogether by accident, many came for that very reason but no-one really knew just how lost they might get.
In years gone by, the more or less educated depending on your viewpoint might suppose witchcraft was involved, evil demons or religious savors to blame, today we know its just part of the human condition.

All sorts come to release their souls in the invisible mists of the music, take the freedom on offer to drift alone leaving their troubles at the door. In time their souls and bodies will meet and fall in love again, a fresh fire burning within with a reprogrammed spirit.

Sally escaped the hungry hands of the dance floor, the third night in a row and she was now starting to appreciate this was no ordinary dance club. Anyone watching her path couldn't help but be confused, angling deliberately towards the bar, fighting through the resident bodies, skirting a couple of layers across the face of the bar. Eventually, reaching the far side of the club less than a handful of yards from where she had danced, she squeezed out onto the private beach and drifted to the water’s edge.

Of course this had been no more than an elaborate plan, there was reason behind this elusive course, her unsuspecting prey had been tempted she knew. She'd felt his body stir even without seeing it happen, it would be less than a minute before he too escaped the crowd; she dusted her cheeks and eyelids with a wet thumb, presented herself to the lowering sun above the horizon and waited.

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23 Steps to make a girl Smile - Part 2

November 14th 2007 06:16

9

Encouraging you to bring your body to my level I help you slide from the lounge. Allowing you just enough space to slip into position, my hands run the length of your legs to your waist. Helping you move is just an excuse to feel the silkiness of your scrunched up skirt

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23 Steps to making a girl Smile - Part 1

November 14th 2007 06:14

Two Overtly Erotic Sensations

1

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The Sands - Part 2

November 14th 2007 06:10

The dance floor was packed. Petite shoulders rubbed against muscular arms, silky dresses slid seductively against simple cotton blouses. Strangers touched intimately without ever meeting. This was a den of vultures and vixens alike, pouncing before a neighbour stole it’s prey.

Thrill upon thrill electrocuted the crowd, exciting them higher and higher. The beat marched mercilessly on, oblivious to the physical needs of the brethren. Outside the throng, onlookers rested before re-entering the feeding ground, water bottles littering the sandy floor; discarded and flattened from the human machine

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The Sands - Part 1

November 14th 2007 06:07

The first time her short white fluffy dress whisked across Steve’s eyeline his mouth forgot the words it was attempting to form. Her feet moved quickly as though they were on a deadline, the crowds parted to allow passage and then silently consumed every trace.

Despite the split second encounter, he knew he'd regret not seeing her face. A cloud had passed over his sun, unless he rectified it immediately the chill would surely seep into his night

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So which way does the water swirl ?

November 9th 2007 06:54

A little bit of a quirky thing to write about I know but it is Friday and if you can't be quirky on a Friday then when can you be ?

Why does the water, when heading down a plug hole in the southern hemisphere, swirl in a different direction to the northern hemisphere

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No one will say this !

November 7th 2007 02:08

Hell why am I even saying it, the pessimist in me says few will listen and even fewer will change. But then I am the eternal optimist, I know one person out there will see the opportunity this idea provides and that makes it all worthwhile.

Interest rates rise for a number of reasons but most ecconomists will agree the basic one is Inflation

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